I Wish We Had More Time
by kg1507
Summary: Takes place during 1x16: Failsafe  Conner knew nothing about Superman, except that he was the world's greatest hero - and that he had not bothered to teach him what that truly meant.


_This can't be happening… please, let me wake up… let this be a dream…_

Conner had been standing at the foot of Superman's statue for a little over half an hour, his eyes glued to the stony face of the man responsible for his existence. The man he had been created to replace when the time came for a new leader, a new face to carry on the symbol that always gave the world hope.

That day was today, and Conner felt nowhere near ready.

He had only been alive a few months, was only just beginning to learn the full extent of his powers and how to control them. He was still learning about all of the wonderful things life had to offer, even to a clone like him. He only knew one thing about his entire life and what it stood for, and he was looking at it. But how could he be Superman now when he barely knew who Superman was? Conner barely knew who _he _was, and now he was expected to carry on the name of a man he barely knew, who had barely spoken more than a few short sentences with him before flying away without a glance behind. Conner knew _nothing _about Superman, except that he was the world's greatest hero - and that he had not bothered to teach him what that truly meant.

Conner felt his knees weaken and he slid to the ground, feeling more alone and regretful than ever. Kid was optimistic - he still believed everyone was alive, waiting to be rescued. Conner hadn't said anything, wanting his friend to have hope, and desperately wanting to believe it himself. But when it came down to it, Conner didn't know what to believe. And that was what terrified him the most - the not knowing if Superman really was dead.

He wished things had been different - that Superman could've seen Conner not as a dirty thing that held his DNA, but as the boy who was fighting so hard to find a place in the world he had been thrown into without a choice. He wished Superman could've seen that even though he wore a tough face with his I-don't-care attitude, Conner was terrified of not living up to the first half of his name. That he would never deserve the title, "Super." He wished that just once, he could've proved to Superman that he was worth sharing the genes of a real hero.

Conner lifted his eyes from the ground to look up at the statue towering over him, a dark shadow he wasn't sure he could step out of.

_I wish you would have cared about me…_

"Conner?"

Conner quickly rose to his feet, brushing dust off the knees of his pants as M'gann came towards him. Her arms were crossed over her chest as if she were trying to physically hold herself together. She looked terrible, and Conner hated that she was so upset.

"Hey. Are they ready?" Conner asked.

M'gann nodded. "They should be done soon. Robin wanted to check the database to see if anything in the League's files could help us beat this thing." She bit her bottom lip, her eyes flickering back and forth nervously.

"M'gann…" Conner said gently, taking her hand.

He heard the barely audible sound that escaped from her throat, one of fear that made his heart clench. He had learned so much about what it meant to care for someone because of her, and his heart had opened up to things he hadn't known could be so powerful. While he still felt the ache from things missing in his life - a mentor, a teacher - a father, M'gann had helped dull that ache with something no one else had yet given him.

She threw her arms around his neck, desperately trying to hold back her tears as she clung to him. When they'd first met, she'd never expected to develop this kind of connection with him. Sure, she'd thought he was handsome and admired him for his heart the few times he had let those emotions show, but she hadn't expected to feel quite so much for one person before. She remembered how quiet and robotic he had been in the beginning, never letting anyone in or getting anything out, except anger. She remembered when he had been furious with the thought of her entering his mind, of letting someone into the most private part of himself - now it was second nature to him. When nights were long and neither could sleep, they would talk to each other through their own personal two-way telepathic connection. She would tell him about Mars, and he would describe to her the few detached memories he had in Cadmus, when he was little more than liquid floating in a tube. He admitted things she knew he had never told anyone else on the team, and she trusted him with her own innermost thoughts. He would tell her his fears, his pain, everything that he had kept inside in the beginning was hers to know. She knew him almost as well as she knew herself. The intimacy of it was comforting to him - she knew this from the way his brainwaves behaved during their telepathic conversations. And it made her feel unexplainably good to be so needed and trusted. To lose him now in this mission would almost be losing a part of herself.

"Conner, I'm scared." M'gann whispered into his chest.

"I know." He paused. "I'm scared too. But… this is what I was made for. To be Superman when he… when he isn't here." Conner pulled away to look her in the eye. "You know that."

M'gann touched his face with trembling fingers. "You don't have to be Superman. You're _Conner_."

Conner sighed softly. "The thing is… I don't know who Conner is, if I'm not playing the part of Superman too." He looked back up to Superman's statue, his heart heavy. "I wish he could've…" His words faded into the silence.

M'gann felt her breath catch in her tight throat as she pressed her forehead against his beating heart. "_I_ know who you are, and you were made for so much more than just as a replacement."

They were silent for a few moments, and all too soon M'gann heard footsteps down the hall, sensing Robin, Kid Flash, and her uncle approaching. They only had a few seconds left to be alone together before the mission was to be put into action. She wished they had more time.

She pulled Conner's neck down towards her and kissed him, concentrating on the feeling of his warm hands around her waist for what she prayed would not be the last time. They parted just as the rest of the team joined them, and M'gann was forced to tear her eyes from his and face Robin. She could tell that he was trying to be brave, like his mentor, and hoped fervently that he still had a mentor to make proud at the end of the day. She glanced at Kid Flash and knew she didn't need mind-reading abilities to know he was only just holding it together, despite his usually optimistic attitude. They were all scared, and no one wanted to admit it.

"Ready?" Robin asked, pulling up a hologram of what looked like blueprints of the enemy's mothership. M'gann saw his fingers tremble just slightly as he punched in several codes and found that she could not make words form.

Superboy took M'gann's hand and stepped forward. "Ready."


End file.
